Always Close the Door

“My legs labored to and fro those close door.”

peotry quote


“Always close the door”, I reminded myself quick as my feet step in the room. It is a protocol preventing entry of infection-causing microorganisms – the invisible monsters, along with wearing face mask and doing medical hand-washing prior. She has leukemia.

at four, to and fro
the hospital become home
needle in- and out.

She has a little face wondering at the sight of me, in white. Not a single word she muttered. Her eyes was a mystery, scanning through me schlepping with an infusion pump- time to battle the invisible monsters: Chemotherapy.

eyes unquestioning
she knows she is not okay,
oblivious machine beeps.

The obnoxious cycle begins: chills on peaks of feverish state, queasy and vomits, loss of appetite, weaken down to bed, fallen hairs on pillow. The span she was most vulnerable. “Always close the door”, again I reminded myself as I get into her room giving her remedies for some. Her fragile thin arms on her navel, though her face showed relief I asked her “Are you still feeling nauseous Charisse?”. Not a single word came from her mouth, instead a slow swinging no on her face lifted my spirit.

a little friend earn
on a nook of a small room,
though she’s shy to speak.

After a month of painstakingly care for her, she’s going home – to the kids real home. There was an overwhelming joy to her mother’s face. We have missed her. The first word we heard back from her is a sequel of a chuckle. She was stronger than what we thought. Sometimes she speaks of decency, of courage, of mishaps we rarely laugh, and of hope and dream of joyuous life. At a young age of four, she was stronger than me.

Motivation is
not always from the wise
innocent words do.

Three months after she was back. Her eyes were puffy, face and feet swollen, feverish. I am about to insert to her hand an IV needle when she begun to cry softly. It crumbled me. But despite the foreseeable pain, she held her little hand willingly to me then muttered “Okay”. The same cycle of treatment goes, and not long she felt well again. We had some friendly chats and laughs that painted smile to her face and to mine, not a sight of forlorn seen. With the same smile on her mother’s face they bid a sweet goodbye once again
– to the kids real home.

A mother’s tears shed
for her daughter’s wellness sake
fauve love than paintings.

Months after she was back again. Her most feeble confinement to the hospital. She was a sleeping beauty as most of her time was consumed sleeping, a natural response of the body for recovery. She must have been so tired. She eats almost nothing. The sparse words she uttered was pitiful to hear. Often than before I gave her the rescue medicines. Then days passed she seemed to be recovering. More words and little more spoons of soft food.

One night, blood on sheet
her eyelids barely open
she hug her mother.

-emangarduque

 

Rest in Peace Charrise.

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photo credit to Lillian

 

A Haibun written for dVerse dedicated to Charisse, and for all mothers too.

At a young age she pass away, but her memory will be with me. I was one of her nurse, and her friend. We have help her battle with leukemia, she did not know she was helping us too, to be motivated in life thru her innocent positive outlook – Reminding us to open our doors always to others.

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8 thoughts on “Always Close the Door

  1. Oh what an amazing story you tell with your words. Little Charisse has become known to many. Someone once said to me, “Thirty-seven is far too young to have angel wings,” upon the passing of their dear friend. Certainly four is even more so. “to the kids real home” — I’m certain that the hospital and caring nurses and doctors had become her second home…..your use of this phrase emphasizes her illness and the yo yo of treatment, remission, treatment that these little ones must endure. Am honored you chose this photo for your words. So glad you posted here.

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